


Keeping Secrets

by fesbian_leminist



Series: Let's Make Gilmore Girls Gay [5]
Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: But Nothing Too Bad, F/F, Fluff, Mentions of homophobia, and a bit of angst too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 01:14:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28663032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fesbian_leminist/pseuds/fesbian_leminist
Summary: Rory and Dean have broken up, and Paris is over the moon. It was just the two of them now. What could go wrong?
Relationships: Paris Geller/Rory Gilmore
Series: Let's Make Gilmore Girls Gay [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1985360
Comments: 8
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

Dean and Rory had broken up. She'd gotten tired of all the arguments, and he'd been mad. Mad about her spending too much time pining over other people, about her wanting to be with someone other than him. Paris felt bad for him, even if she didn't like him. He was convinced it was Jess. Convinced Rory wanted to be with him. He really seemed to have no idea about her. About how long Rory had been so much more than pining for her.

She was also happy as she had ever been. She knew she shouldn't really be, that she should be sad because Rory was hurting a bit. It was hard, though. Part of her could be sad with her, could empathise with the fact that she sometimes missed Dean. That the breakup was hard, even if it was the right choice. The rest of her was overjoyed. It was just her and Rory now, and she'd never seen so much of her. She'd been the one Rory had come to. She'd held her and comforted her and told her everything was going to be OK. Then she'd felt a little unpleasant about how happy she was, even when Rory was upset. It was confusing

It was special, too. Last night had felt special. She'd spent it at Rory's, cuddling up on the sofa with her when they could and separating once Lorelai had come home. Rory had set up a bed next to hers for her to sleep in, though she'd only gone into it after plenty of time cuddling up in Rory's. It was small and they'd been so close to each other the entire time. They hadn't had sex, but Rory kept touching her and kissing her and holding her and it had been… Wonderful. They hadn't talked about Dean at all. It really was just them.

Now they had a whole day to spend together. She knew they were technically supposed to be studying together, but most of their morning had been spent sitting close to each other as they had breakfast with Lorelai at Luke's. As she'd listened to them talk about… Well, anything really. Films. TV. Their lives, excluding of course Rory's relationship with her. Otherwise, they seemed to talk about everything, and they both seemed happy to do it. It was weird. Was always weird seeing the two of them together like this. She'd never imagined that a family could be so happy to be in each other's company before she'd met Rory.

“So, do you two have any plans, or are you just going to wait all day till Paris actually finishes her food?” Paris lifted her head, heat rising to her cheeks as she saw Lorelai smiling at her and nodding down to her plate. She looked back down, grabbing her fork and quickly putting some pancakes in her mouth. “Ah, she returns. Nice to have you back with us Paris. Was wondering where you'd gotten to.”

“We're probably just going to head back home and study. Gotta work hard if we're going to Harvard, right?” Paris nodded as she heard Rory answer, glad she didn't have to try with a mouth full of food. Lorelai was going to be working. They were definitely going to do some studying, but they weren't going to waste a bit of alone time either. She looked up at Rory with a smile, then found herself looking past her out the window. Saw people walking around. Saw couples holding hands.

“I thought it might be nice to go for a walk too. You could show me around Stars Hollow. You certainly seem to like it here, so I thought it might be nice to find out what there is to actually like. Other than a decent diner, of course.” Paris kept eating food, smiling a little as Rory raised an eyebrow at her and Lorelai crossed her arms and frowned.

“You do mean an excellent diner, right? Not going to have you insult such a fine establishment.” Paris nodded, swallowing a mouthful and giving a thumbs up. They were pretty good. She never really got to have pancakes. Felt like a pretty nice treat. “Also, that sounds like it might be a plan. Maybe if you show her round, she'll stop thinking you're the only good thing in this town.” Paris froze for a moment, feeling her cheeks flush as Rory smiled and nodded next to her. As she felt Rory's knee suddenly leaning against her own.

“Sounds good. Plus, a nice walk should be an excellent warm-up for a heavy study session, right?” Paris kept staring at Rory, feeling her cheeks grow hotter as she forced herself to nod. As she felt Rory's foot brush against hers.

“Of course. Yeah. Lots of heavy studying.” Rory grinned, turning back to Lorelai before wolfing down another muffin, still gently rubbing against her leg. Paris watched her wipe the crumbs from her mouth, listened watched her roll her eyes as she responded to some comment Lorelai made. She was so beautiful. So smart. So perfect.

Dean was a fool, and she couldn't be happier about that.

~

Paris was trying hard. She really wanted to like Stars Hollow. Wanted to think that it was more than… fine. It was fine. If she wanted to go somewhere where there was nothing to do but eat food in a diner then it seemed like a perfectly acceptable choice. Just… Rory was still the only thing that was actually good in Stars Hollow

Still, Paris had been perfectly happy following her around all day, listening to her talk about all the little events that happened in town, about the church with the broken bell, about the pancake place that didn't serve pancakes. None of it made her ever want to come back here again, except for the fact that she got to listen to Rory talk. That she got to watch her getting so enthusiastic over this boring little town.

Though perhaps there was something else good about it. Rory had lead her to a little wooded area near the town, overlooking a little lake. She dragged her off the path and into the trees, away from where anyone else might be walking. Paris stood next to her, leaning back against a tree, pinkies intertwined as she stared out across the water. As she listened to the leaves rustling above them and watched the ducks lazily swimming about on top of the lake.

“This is really pretty.” She smiled, looking around and properly realising how alone they were. How safe they were. She bit her lip, slowly taking hold of Rory's hand, giving her every chance to pull away before squeezing it tight. They'd never done this outdoors before. Had only ever been close behind closed doors. “Thanks for bringing me here. It feels… Special.”

“It's a good place to read sometimes. A nice spot when you want to be outside but don't want to interact with anyone else.” Paris' face flushed a little as Rory squeezed her hand back, and she turned to her, cheeks starting to ache as her smile grew wider. As she watched the breeze play with Rory's hair, watched her close her eyes and take a deep breath. “I'm glad you like it. Glad I could show you somewhere that you might actually think is worth coming back for.”

“I… Yes. This might be worth coming back to with you.”

“That still sounds like you just coming back here for me.” Rory opened her eyes and looked at her, grinning a little as Paris felt her cheeks heat up more. Rory really was beautiful and brilliant and funny and she was showing Paris one of her special places and Paris…

“I think you'd be worth going most places for. Even here.” Rory's cheeks started to redden, and Paris stepped forwards and kissed her. She felt Rory freeze for a moment, almost pulled away before Rory started kissing her back. Before Rory's hand pushed up past her face and into her hair, pulling her in closer. She shuddered as Rory pressed up against her, as she felt Rory's tongue move across her lips, holding back a sigh as they finally parted. Paris stared at her, catching her breath before grinning nervously. “Was worried that might have been too much. We've never kissed outside before.”

“Don't think we've ever been alone outside before. Think that might have been the first chance we had. I'm a little bit annoyed that you took it before I could.” Rory grinned back at her, letting go of her hair and grabbing her hand again, squeezing it tight. “Do you remember when I first came to Chilton and you angrily whispered a romantic Shakespeare sonnet in my ear? Did you have a crush on me back then?” Paris looked away, blushing furiously as the memory hit her.

“I… I don't think I knew I had a crush on you. You made me feel weird things and that was annoying so I was trying to be mean to you because I assumed you were annoying, which you sometimes are. Just made an interesting choice for that, I guess.” Rory smirked, leaning in to quickly kiss her on the nose before backing away with a chuckle.

“I mean, they always talk about boys pulling pulling girls' pigtails and stuff. Guess that was just you. Anyone else you used to try and bully that I should worry about?” Paris snorted, shaking her head. She'd been mean to plenty of people, but it had never been like this. It had never been weird like it was with Rory. She just hadn't liked any of them. Well, other than Madeline and Louise, but that was different. Sure, she'd been mean to them before they were friends, and had insulted them because of how pretty they were and actually she'd been mad about their boyfriends the same way she used to be mad about how Dean wasn't good enough for Rory and-

“Oh my god I think I used to have a crush on Madeline and Louise.” Paris leaned back against the tree, staring out at the lake, cheeks flushing as she heard Rory giggling next to her. “I don't any more. Pretty sure I'd be aware of it if I did. Just… Hadn't really considered that. Figured you must have been my first.”

“Not planning on bullying them any more, are you?” Paris shook her head, letting out a little gasp as she felt Rory's hand grab her chin and turn her head for a kiss. She leaned into it, warmth pulsing through her body as she felt Rory's tongue brush over her lip, as she flicked her own out in return. God Rory was so soft and hot and - “Good. They're your friends. You should be nice to them. Or, you know, as nice as you can be to people.”

“I can be nice! You could bring me any person right now and I could be nice to them. I mean, not anyone. Madeline or Louise, so long as they're not talking about boys too much. Your mother. Your grandparents. That's a lot of different people I could be nice to, so-” Paris let out a squeak as Rory started kissing her again, as she felt a hand running down her back, letting out a groan as Rory pulled back just as she was starting to get into it.

“You wanna go back to mine and study now? Pretty sure I'm not going to find somewhere in Stars Hollow you like more than this.” Paris nodded, grinning as Rory grabbed her hand and lead her back out of the woods. Lorelai was going to be gone for hours. They were going to have so much time alone. So much time for… Well, Rory said studying, but they were definitely going to be… Well…

“Are we actually going to be studying when we get back to yours or are we, you know. Making out.” Rory turned to face her, walking backwards and giving her a shrug.

“I mean, if you're leaving soon we should probably study. Don't want our grades to slip right. But if you wanted to stay the night again...” Rory trailed off, smirking as Paris quickly nodded at her, feeling her ears burn a little. “Well, that means there'll be plenty of time to study tonight. When my mom's home. Might as well make out while she's not. And, you know… Other things.” Rory winked, and Paris bit her lip, quickly jogging up alongside her and fighting the urge to hold her hand. They'd be in town soon. Be among people. Plenty of time for that when they had privacy again. Plenty of time for all sorts of things.


	2. Chapter 2

Rory couldn't stop herself from smiling as she walked around Stars Hollow. Paris had gone home a few hours ago, and she hadn't stopped smiling since. It was sad seeing her go, of course, but it had been so long since she'd had such a wonderful couple of days. Almost everything with Dean before their breakup had been arguments. Accusing her of wanting someone else. Of wanting Jess, which was so, so far from the truth. She liked hanging around him as a friend. He was smart, he was good to talk about books with. Why shouldn't she do that with him? Why did that have to be a problem?

Rory did feel bad that he hadn't actually been wrong, even if he wasn't close to knowing who she actually wanted. Had felt bad about how long things had gone on with Paris while they'd been with each other. It wasn't something she'd expected it to last. Hadn't expected it to be anything real. Then it was, and she hadn't known what to do. Hadn't known what to do when she'd realised she didn't like Dean the way she liked Paris.

She should have broken up with him. She knew that would have been the morally right thing to do. Paris had been a secret, though. She had to be a secret. Wasn't safe for her to be anything else. Dean felt like a good way to keep it secret. A good way to stop people thinking she was… Whatever she was. That Paris was anything other than her friend. Who would think she was seeing a girl when she was with him? Even he hadn't, and he'd been as close to her as anyone. He'd known she wanted someone else and couldn't even start to see the truth in front of his face.

Now he was gone, and that hadn't changed. Paris had seen her almost every day this week, had spent the past two days stuck to her side, and her mom hadn't said anything. Hadn't complained about Paris spending two nights in her room, when she never would have let Dean do the same. Hadn't even seemed concerned by the two of them pressing up against each other while they watched movies. She'd seemed happy about it. Had said she was happy that she'd finally made a friend at Chilton.

Thinking about it, her mom had never been bothered about Lane doing that either. Nothing had ever happened with Lane, of course, but she was still cute. Was pretty. Rory was pretty sure she'd had a crush on her for a while, even if she hadn't known it at the time. Nothing had ever happened, though. Lane was straight. She had Dave. Nothing was ever going to happen there. It was just interesting how little her mom seemed to be worried about the things she probably should have been.

“Oh, Rory darling, do you have a moment to chat?” She turned at the sound of Miss Patty's voice, smiling and nodding as she walked up to the dance studio. Miss Patty smiled back, ushering her inside before closing the door behind her.

“What's up? There something you need help with?”

“Oh, nothing like that. Just wanted to chat. Figured it'd be best to keep it private.” Miss Patty kept smiling, and Rory nodded, starting to wonder what could be happening. It wasn't like Miss Patty to do this. Wasn't like her to keep anything private, if she was being honest. “I saw you and that Paris girl walking around yesterday. Looked like you were having a lovely time. Looked very close.” Rory nodded, trying to keep a smile stuck to her face.

“She's a good friend. She's been nice to have around since me and Dean broke up. I've appreciated it.” Miss Patty nodded, and Rory nodded back, still smiling as she looked up at her. Watched her smile grow a little sadder as she looked back. “Was there something else you wanted to talk about? I should probably go and study if you didn't.”

“I think it's a wonderful thing darling. I'm really very happy for you. Just, well...” Miss Patty sighed, reaching forward and laying a gentle hand on her shoulder. “There are people in this town who won't be. Church people, mostly. Just figured you should know that if you're doing this.”

“What exactly do you think I'm doing?”

“Dating Paris. I've been in the exact same place kid. I recognise things. How you look at each other, how your hands keep brushing against each other. It's really very sweet. Reminds me of when I was young.” Rory looked down at the floor, a blush rising to her cheek as she heard Miss Patty chuckling. Was it really so obvious? She thought they'd been subtle, thought they'd been discreet, that no one would-

“You're gay?!” Her face shot up and she stared at Miss Patty, cheeks burning as she smiled and nodded back.

“Bisexual, but yeah. I know you mostly hear me talking about men, but that's because women only tend to come up in the right company. Hardly think you'd want to hear me talking about how attractive Lorelai is, would you?”

“Ew, no. I would very much not like that.” Miss Patty laughed, and Rory sighed, sitting down across from her. She hadn't expected this. Hadn't expected she could possibly be found out. Hadn't expected Miss Patty to be the one to do it. Hadn't expected her to be talking about her mom. She stuck out her tongue, shaking her head before looking back at her. “You're not going to tell anyone about us, are you?”

“Never. I know I'm a gossip, but this is firmly off limits. You wanna come out, you'll do it when you want and with my full support. You want it to be a secret, then it'll be my secret too.” Rory nodded, panic dropping a little as Miss Patty kept smiling across at her. “If people find out anyway and they get nasty you'll have my support too. I'll be in your corner no matter who ends up trying to cause problems, I promise you.”

“Do you think anyone could really find out about us? I mean, we're not exactly making out at Luke's or anything, are we?” She blushed a little, remembering how nice it had been to kiss Paris in the woods. How pretty she'd looked. How soft she'd felt. Wished the thought of doing it again wasn't scary now.

“Probably not. People mostly see what they expect, and they very much expect you to be straight. Still, Dean was sure you wanted someone else. Was pretty public about that belief. Might make some of the puritans around here wonder why you're so close to Paris now. Hell, Dean might wonder about it, though hopefully he's too nice to be bad about it.” Rory nodded, suddenly feeling a little nauseous as she remembered how angry she'd seen Dean get with Jess. As she thought about him treating Paris the same way. “I don't think you should let any of this stop you. You should do what makes you happy. Just figured you should know some people won't be happy about it, even if plenty of us will be on your side.”

“I mean, I'd guessed about the unhappy part. There's a reason I haven't told anyone. I know how people can be.” She'd heard about kids getting kicked out of their home. Losing their family. Their friends. She didn't really expect any of that from her mom. She wanted to not expect any of it from her grandparents either, but… “Did you ever hide this stuff? Keep it secret?”

“Of course. Sometimes it's the only safe thing to do. You keep stuff in your apartment, or go to friends you know you can trust. Learn which bars you can meet people at, though that's tragically impractical here. I really miss gay bars.” Miss Patty sighed, smiling past her as she leaned back in her chair. “Had some nice beards, for a time. Those were always helpful. Very good distractions.” Rory rested her chin on her hand, nodding as though she knew exactly what Miss Patty meant.

“What's a beard? Like, I know about the hair that you grow on your face, but I'm pretty sure that's not what you mean.” Miss Patty looked back at her, smile widening as she shook her head and chuckled.

“It's not what I mean, though a bit of facial hair is definitely a nice distraction on a woman.” Rory looked down at the ground, grinning as she remembered Paris dressed up as Romeo. Flushing a little as she thought about how cute she could have been with a moustache as well. “I mean guys. It always works best if you can find a gay one, give each other some cover. Makes it a mutual thing. People tend not to think you might be into women if you're involved with a man. It's a bit of a blind spot.”

“Huh. I guess that makes sense.” Nothing had ever been mentioned when she was with Dean. Admittedly, she'd mostly seen Paris in her own home before that, but she'd still spent a fair bit of time with her. Had still gone to Luke's with her sometimes. Maybe Dean really had made a difference. “Thanks for the advice, and for offering somewhere to go. Guess I have to think about this stuff more.” Miss Patty smiled at her, and Rory smiled back before finding herself being pulled into a massive hug.

“I'll always be here for you kid. Don't care who I have to fight. I promise.” Rory froze for a moment before closing her eyes and hugging Miss Patty back, leaning into her warmth. It felt reassuring knowing she had an ally in this little town. Knowing that there was someone else like her. “You can get going if you want. Don't want to keep you here all day.”

“Thanks. Maybe we can talk more about it later. And… Thanks. For everything. I really appreciate it.” Rory finally pulled away, cheeks hurting as she kept smiling up at her and moved to the door. Miss Patty smiled back, waving softly as she backed through it and headed back to the street. Looking around and wondering what everyone else saw of her.

It was good to know Miss Patty would have her back if someone tried to cause trouble. She figured her mom would. Luke. Babette and Morey. Lane too, even if she had to keep it hidden from her mom. Still, knowing people wouldn't be was, well, scary. Knowing it would probably be so much worse for Paris was scarier.

She knew people didn't like Paris. Knew why. Paris tended to be abrasive and rude and honestly kinda mean. Maybe not with her (or at least nowhere near as often), but with pretty much everyone else. Rory wasn't sure exactly why she was an exception, even if she was glad of it. Was glad that had changed. She was also pretty sure that Paris wouldn't have anyone on her side if people found out about this. Not even her parents. They barely seemed to want any involvement in her life as it was. Couldn't imagine that would get anything but worse if they found out she was gay.

She didn't really know what to do about it. Didn't know how to deal with Dean, because he'd been right, and he'd been so sure about that. He'd might wonder why nothing was happening with Jess, and maybe if he did it enough he might start putting things together, because he'd seen stuff. Stuff that might be harder to overlook now they weren't together. Paris kissing her during their play. Paris standing up for her when they were having an argument. The fact that Paris had been the person who was there for her after the breakup.

None of it was proof, but he'd never had any proof about Jess. He'd had suspicions and that had been enough for him to start arguments. To start accusing her of stuff. She didn't know if she'd be able to blow that off as easily if it was about Paris. If Paris could be as unfazed as Jess. That still wouldn't be proof, but it could be enough to start some gossip. Enough to get people asking questions.

She stopped walking at the gas station, closing her eyes and leaning back against a pillar. Maybe she could just see Paris less. It'd suck and it'd be sad, but it'd probably keep them safe. They could do more once they got to college. Once they were somewhere new. Things could be easier then. Could be less scary.

“Hey. Something happen? Earlier you looked all, I dunno. Perky?” She opened her eyes, turning at the sound of Jess' voice and grinning. He looked like he always looked, leather jacket and jeans and somewhat smug smile on his face. Looked kinda pretty. She wondered if that would annoy him.

“Is a girl not allowed to brood at the edge of town and think about stuff?” He shrugged, hands stuffed in his pockets as her stood in front of her and bounced on his heels. “Was there something you wanted to talk about, or did you just come out here to stand near me?”

“Oh I was just walking when I saw you. Though being around you long enough might piss off Dean, and that does sound kinda fun.” Rory rolled her eyes, sighing as Jess chuckled and an idea crept into her head. Dean probably would get annoyed by this. It'd probably grab his attention away from anything else she was doing. Would probably be a pretty good distraction. “Still, you got anything you want to talk about… I mean, I won't have much advice to offer and I'll probably get bored, but I'll tell you Dean was being a dick if that'll help.”

“It does a bit. I do have a favour to ask, though.”

“Ask away. Always happy to help, so long as it won't take too much work.”

“I want you to kiss me.” Jess smile froze for a moment, before backing away and let out a low whistle. “What's wrong? Doesn't seem like that much work.”

“It doesn't. Probably pretty easy. Just, uh…. It's a pretty odd favour, you know? More used to people asking for money or something.” Rory kept staring at him, kept smiling as he moved closer to her again. As she saw him start to grin. “Look, I don't know what this is about, but are you sure? This is definitely one of the weirder favours I've been asked. Possibly the weirdest.”

“There's more to it, but a kiss will do for now. Maybe a date later, if you'd like.” No one had noticed what Paris was to her when she was with Dean. Jess could do the same thing. Could probably do it better, honestly. Plus… well, he could be kind of a jerk, but he was pretty nice to her. They could talk about books. Could talk about all sorts of things. It could probably be a nice fake thing. “I'll try and explain more later. I promise. For now, I'd just really appreciate a kiss.” Jess kept staring at her, raising an eyebrow before finally sighing and shrugging.

“Alright. If you're sure then I'm not complaining.” Rory nodded, and Jess smiled. He leaned in. She closed her eyes.

This could work. This could keep them safe.

Paris would understand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rory just makes bad decisions and isn't great at communicating and I don't think being gay would change that. Not till like some part of college, maybe.
> 
> Also I actually like Jess and also also they just give off big closeted trans girl energies imo so i'm gonna have fun with that later


End file.
